Tough Times

Tough day and night. J exhibited her first paranoia. She couldn’t find her down vest and assumed one of the contractors who have intermittently been in the house lately had taken it. It is much more likely she left it somewhere.  I had the presence of mind to keep that thought to myself. 

Then we went to dinner and the theater with old friends. J was not very engaged in conversation. The decibel level at the restaurant was quite high, which no doubt contributed. She also was almost silent on the way home. 

This followed an afternoon where I was pretty cranky. We have an event to attend tomorrow and I was grudging about helping J find an outfit for it. 

So what do I take from all this?  Not every moment of care giving can be joyful or meaningful or even interesting. Sometimes it is just painful.  And I draw strength from the thought, as my sister D has taught me, that it won’t always feel this way. 

2 thoughts on “Tough Times”

  1. Thank God for our sisters; mine supplied my manta when I look ahead through slits in my fingers covering my eyes and reading your blog is, “But not today.” As time goes on, I’ll borrow from your sister and remind myself it won’t always feel this way, too. Thank you.

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  2. This parallel journey is astounding. I wish I had your “presence of mind”. Most of the difficulties come from/start because I say something I shouldn’t. Because she is not working she seems to need a lot more praise for the little things she does around the house. The little things I barely notice because in my mind I am taking care of “everything”. Lesson: it’s the little things that sometimes matter most! Thank God today is another day.

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