Tough day and night. J exhibited her first paranoia. She couldn’t find her down vest and assumed one of the contractors who have intermittently been in the house lately had taken it. It is much more likely she left it somewhere. I had the presence of mind to keep that thought to myself.
Then we went to dinner and the theater with old friends. J was not very engaged in conversation. The decibel level at the restaurant was quite high, which no doubt contributed. She also was almost silent on the way home.
This followed an afternoon where I was pretty cranky. We have an event to attend tomorrow and I was grudging about helping J find an outfit for it.
So what do I take from all this? Not every moment of care giving can be joyful or meaningful or even interesting. Sometimes it is just painful. And I draw strength from the thought, as my sister D has taught me, that it won’t always feel this way.