Memory care, here we come


When I last wrote, J’s continuing care retirement community had suggested she leave assisted living for memory care. My initial reaction was somewhat negative. I mostly was concerned that J no longer would have control over her own comings and goings because memory care residents can’t leave the floor without supervision. 

What a difference a couple of weeks — and a little bit of information and an open mind — can make.  The most important change came because I went back and visited the memory care unit. I hadn’t seen it since I first looked at the CCRC in March 2016. 

Memory is a funny thing, even in those of us with no impairment. I had remembered a much more institutional setting. The memory unit I visited, however, was very homey. It had only 24 residents, three full time staff members at all times and a dedicated activities director. I have often thought that there should be group homes for people with Alzheimer’s disease. This memory unit seemed pretty close to that ideal. 

Of course, no bed was immediately available for J, so we began to wait and the CCRC administration went radio silent, failing to respond to my phone calls or emails. Sadly, this is not unusual. 

What happened next was one of those blessings in disguise. Last week, J wandered off the CCRC campus and was found in the rain on a neighborhood street. Now that the CCRC was at risk for potential liability if J were hurt while she wandered, they swung into action. J started to spend days in memory care, returning to her assisted living room only at night. 

And then magically, a room opened up. She will move in on Monday. 

The move is not without annoyances. J has to be financially qualified for this new level of care, so there are forms to fill out, bank statements to provide, phone calls with my lawyer and a contract to negotiate. The actual move also is largely my responsibility, so I had to hire a mover on very short notice. 

These irritations are small, however, compared with my firm belief that J will be much happier in this new setting. 

Stay tuned. 

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